This Run's For You, Mom :)

I'm still chuckling over the column my brother David wrote about mom for the on-line magazine, The Edge. Among her many loving and extraordinary gifts, she provides an endless stream of unintentional hysterics for family and all to enjoy. You gotta love her for it! And everyone does... In fact, I believe in the dictionary, her picture is next to the word, "love".

I love my mom for a lot of other reasons... and with Mom's Day upon us, I'm hoping she can decombobulate her computer long enough to read at least some of my blog ;) Fingers crossed....

I grew up in the San Francisco Bay Area, the middle of five siblings, two older brothers, a younger sister and brother. My father died when I was eight, which still leaves me in awe of this fearless woman raising her brood alone. I know I was the luckiest kid who ever lived. Never deprived no matter how tough the times got. There was so much love and respect in my home-- OK, to be clear, it was a circus and zoo all wrapped up into one... Mom never needed to discipline -- we all learned from her example.

Everything happened at the Toussaint household-- and to be more specific, it all happened around the Toussaint's wooden kitchen counter (that mom made in woodshop.) Kids from the neighborhood were streaming in and out all day long-- they all wanted to live with us. And every animal you could imagine resided on our property. OK, ok, the rabbits did run up and down the street...

And I don't remember a time when mom wasn't knocking out walls, putting in sky-lights and stained-glass windows-- heck, with some help, us kids even built a new living room for the grand piano that was passed down from grandpa who played in the John Phillips Souza Band. And for my sister and me to be married in...

Mom is an artist to say the least... her paintings and ink drawings still grace her home. She dreamed of a ballerina's life, but settled due to lack of money on being a star in the glamorous synchronized swimming circuit. Then began dancing at age 42 (I learned early that I could do whatever I wanted to do...whenever I wanted to do it.) She later moved to New York City for long spells to act off-Broadway-- and be involved in environmental dance theater. Today, at 73, she lives in her wonderful East Bay abode-- and focuses on her "kids" and acting.

People to this day approach me with eyes sparkling, telling of the old cast parties at my mom's house. I forever hear "those were the days..." And, "her home is still my favorite place in the whole world." But it's not really the home-- it's her, isn't it? It's her essence and spirit.

Mom was always a fighter, and an unabashed advocate for her kids. I remember with a grin the lessons I learned while listening to her on the phone-- always to some horrible teacher or principal about how they were abusing one of us. And she stated her points CLEARLY. The reason I grin as I write this is because so often after she would hang up, she would punctuate her sentiment with a pointed yelp, "That BASTARD!!!" She's got an undeniable fire in her belly and she always fights for what is right, what is compassionate. The daughter of an abusive mother, my mom grew up reminding herself what NOT to do when it came to kids.

She even did a teaching stint at juvenile hall until a teacher was stabbed... and there were years when she threw birthday parties for EVERY kid in the neighborhood. The only issue I ever had with mom was that she gave too much-- and some people would take advantage of that generous love.

And mom is no dummy... besides being the wisest person I've ever known, she's savvy. When my father died, she wasn't left with much money. She put half of it into the stock market (per her conservative in-laws insistence), and promptly lost it all. With the other half, she did what she wanted to do-- she bought five homes-- and that's what she raised her kids on. We'd fix them up, rent 'em out for a while... and when the Toussaint cupboards went bare, mom announced, "It's time to sell Harvard Drive... or "Dawn Drive..." whichever.

We didn't just survive, we LIVED-- and we TRAVELED! Mom took the five of us, luggage in tow, on two month long journeys during the summers. We saw the mid-West, Canada, New York City, DC... It took us out of the suburbs, opened our eyes and expanded our minds to the larger world. The best education I got, next to mom's :)

Our home was forever filled with conversation... mom's joke was "you can bring anything home... except religion" (a bad after-taste from her mother's religious fanaticism). And we indeed DID! Politics was always on the front burner, with Tricky Dick and Ronald REE-gan BBQ'd regularly. In the sixth grade, I decided to campaign for George McGovern-- and sure enough on a local campaign swing, mom took me to meet him. My eyes filled with tears when this gentle man squeezed my little hand.

For the past five years or so, mom's been telling me she wants to be like me. She speaks of my tenacity and fearlessness. Recently, she told me that I would have been so proud if I had heard her on a particular phone call. She shared that she tried to be just like me-- and didn't back down as this bureaucrat stonewalled her. As wise as my mom is, she still doesn't understand where I've learned my spunk and fight.

For mother's day, I'm going to get you a mirror, mom... and this run's for you.

XO